Blindsighted….

sigh…idk where to even begin. Why were you here? 11/6 – 11/7 2017 there was no reason to be. I wonder if they made you feel guilty in a way, and I wonder what is it they got out of it. What did they say, I am sorry if you are being put through ordeals that should not concern you. I hope you are able to see through it all and move forward.

The oldest manipulates.

The youngest follows. (I loved this person like a sister)

And yet I still don’t know what is it that I did so wrong to them, its like tell me cousins. Tell me what it is I did so wrong so I can fix it.

Contacting you was uncalled for, then again I looked you up on the youngest cousins computer. Big mistake, I never told them about you, only the fact that you were in marketing and casino stuff.

If they wanted your help –  her for that matter, they should have told me – she should have told me. I could’ve put the contact through because I want my cousins K dreams to come true. (notice how that rhymes, it always happens unintentionally)

Whatever it is, whatever they told you. I am ok. So if you feel guilty or worry don’t, whatever it is that is tormenting you, clear your mind and move forward.

You were just a short escape from a crisis that I was going through a beautiful person but just a fantasy world I needed to escape to for a while (I’m compelled to tell you, that I don’t like keychains would kind of reminds you of the person every time you open a door, 3d printing sounds interesting have read all about it and nice headphones, if this resonates, I knew, I FELT IT) . I did not judge you by your picture or by anything else. I just had low expectation for me and I did apologize – that and the dishonesty on my part (it did serve as good inspiration for writing though granted at your expense and for that, I apologize).

Whatever it is you are being put through, I hope you pay no mind. I am sorry for my family and I am sorry for trusting them enough in order for them to contact you and torment.

I only deleted skype because I have been wanting to, I readded because I felt guilty without giving any notice THAT IS ALL.

There is so much you don’t know and I bet some of the truth given to you has been twisted around. Sometimes it is best to communicate and ask and say what is going on here. Your mistake was staying silent and blindsighting, like you did, was uncalled for and was unprepared for.

I won’t ever forgive them for that, that was really mean. I mean, would you? This is what I mean, about betrayal after betrayal….I told you I have never had luck with women in general, it is always men I connect with the best and this cattiness proves a point.

Something happened at the end of August I felt it there was a shift with you its strange hard to describe and then throughout September, October (you had doubted this month) November was blind sighted.

I hope the business deal is successful. I really do.

Don’t expect me to engage with them ever again. I know this may sound dramatic, but I never really needed them and even now more so. I am not angry, I am not upset, I just don’t care, I will be ok – not going to lie though I have been crying my eyes out the past few days.

They don’t know what it is like to feel love for a sister because they themselves don’t have any siblings, they don’t know what its like to sacrifice for another because they have never experienced sibling love. Maybe this is why they reached out to you idk what was the reason behind it, but I do hope that you somewhat see how twisted and mean that was I mean you see it right?? As I have never shared any details about you except to the youngest beside the (work and sexual preference) anything other than that must be whatever you have shared thus far.

Also the oldest cousin went as far as interfering with the relationship that was so fragile that I have with my son’s father. (something I have never shared with but eventually would have)

There is a lot of pain behind that story, so I put on a strong attitude, facade so to speak, someone that I am really not…

Anywho…I’m closing this off here, I needed to get this off my chest. If I ever do share this with you please keep it to yourself, you sharing this with them, will yield even more pain towards me and ridicule. When I said betrayal to you it stems to so much deeper than what I shared, its been on ongoing feud for I don’t know how long but this did it. I don’t know how to strategize, how to retaliate, how to get even. I just hope that they just go away and leave me alone.

Being branded crazy is not nice either but that is a different story for another day….

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