Triggered…

So today just now my aunt came to see me, I will miss her so very much. I had to sit down to write this down as she triggered so much in me. We had wonderful memories during the times we spent together but most of those memories also had a tint of sadness to them as we were all going through our depressive issues.  I feel it is over and that I have to let go of her and my cousin. But if they only knew – and just wouldn’t go by he said she said verdicts…they’d know how much I loved them – how much I still do.

I’ve accepted the fact that they can think of me whatever they want, I don’t want to defend myself anymore, I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to say anything anymore. It is more painful trying to hold on – trying to prove your innocence and how much you love these people than to let go…So I have decided to let you two go. I hope that whatever it is you are feeling towards me whether it is anger or disappointment doesn’t cloud your judgment for long to how things really are – to what the truth really is. I hope you remember the times we spent together…K if you ever read this I couldn’t do much for you then – you know I was going through a phase and now it is too late as your mind and heart are elsewhere… I hope one day we can come back together and we make up for lost time.

I hope it happens one day until then I hope all your goals come true for you.

xo F

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